A changing body and behavior may make This Time Tough on you and your child

It seems like just yesterday that your little one was in diapers, but the teen years are inching closer. The transition to teenager can be difficult and confusing for children — and parents. Understanding what your son or daughter is going through can help you offer guidance during these critical years.
Starting around age 9 or 10, new hormones rage through preteens’ bodies. These potent chemicals affect body, brain and personality.

As puberty begins:

• Hair sprouts under arms and in the genital area
• A growth spurt may take place
• Acne may erupt
• Boys grow facial hair
• Girls develop breasts and wider hips

As these changes occur, children may start to wonder if their bodies are “normal.” “Assure them that they’re OK the way they are,” says Carolyn E. Landis, PhD, assistant professor of pediatrics and clinical psychologist at UH Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital. “Explain that everyon goes through these stages although at different rates.” Watch for weight loss or other signs of body image or eating problems, especially among girls.

Understanding what your son or daughter is going through can help you offer guidance during these critical years.

If your child shows signs of puberty before age 7 for girls or age 9 for boys, or hasn’t developed at all by age 14, you may want to talk with a doctor. Most cases of early or late puberty are no cause for concern. But sometimes another medical problem can affect timing.

The newest research shows the brain continues to grow and develop through the teen years. As children approach adolescence, they’ll feel more independent. You might not recognize them at times as they experiment with new ideas. They’ll probably express their emotions more clearly, develop deeper friendships and voice a stronger sense of right and wrong.

What’s the most important thing you can do for children during this tumultuous time? Let them know you love them no matter what. Self-esteem will help children ride out the rough patches, and much of their confidence is based on how you treat them. Be open and honest in your communication. Although
you might get frustrated with your children’s mood swings, step away from the struggles to acknowledge good behavior. “Praise them when they share information about their daily activities and feelings, encourage them to forgive others for their mistakes or apologize when they have hurt someone
else’s feelings intentionally or unintentionally,” Dr. Landis says.

“It helps to set an example of kindness and respect in how you treat them and how you treat others as well. Do not take their emotional outbursts personally, and build on positive interactions to preserve your relationship throughout this challenging developmental period.”